It's been a long time since I write a new post. And now I'm officially 23. A year older and hopefully wiser. This year, my bucket list of lessons hopefully include more personal growth.

Without further ado:

#1 Positivity

Last year, I always dream big however I stopped midway and said to myself "You can't do anything to change this." It is not because I don't want my dream to come true or I don't know the step. It is just that I'm just lazy or too negativity and less hardworking. In past, whenever I dream or thought of it, I'll strive hard to achieve it. And because of that people called me Miss Positive. Somehow what Kak Zahidah told me before, "Neesa, I don't think you're not sick physically but your mental is unstable. You are full with negativity which it's hard for me to help you as you're not helping yourself"

I don't know whether am I afraid ? Afraid of what? I don't believe in study hard in a hard way until both physical health are compromised. I believe of quality more than quantity. But nowadays my studies has low quality and quantity. It's clearly bringing me down, therefore, starting my new semester, I need to reevaluate my priorities. 

Ask myself. Do my sickness should drag everything down? My studies, my physical health, my mental, my friends, relationships and most important thing... my time management. Some of my friends said that my 2017 face were insincere, pale and full of worries. And they were unhappy. 

The second one bucket list is quoted from Sarina Iskandar

#2 Expect to be disappointed by people

This year, I learnt in a hard way that sometimes people were insensitive to my feelings because my feelings don't matter to them, but because they genuinely don't know any better. It was not because of their fault but just their capacity for empathy is very limited therefore, it is our duty to be merciful and let it slide.

It is solely my fault for not being easy and let it slide. I probably took it as grudge and too emotional thus I need to get rid that personality as soon as possible.

#3 Gratitude never gets old

Sarina said that gratitude cures sadness, greed and envy and helps put things into perspective. If there is a habit that I should practice every single moment of my life, it would be the art of gratitude. 

I probably carry scars from my past and I learn these in my present:

"Living recklessly is self-abuse. It's torturing oneself even more ruthlessly than death itself. Even at this very moment of wanting to live recklessly, deep inside my heart I ask 'How long are you going to live this way' "

“The only thing you learn from failure is.. you become intimidated”

“People say this: forgiving isn’t done for others, but for yourself. But you shouldn’t say things like that because forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds"

“If you made a mistake, you should apologize. Why did you have to hurt someone’s feeling?”
Focus on more positive aspects – life is short”

“Something that a stranger blurts out could heal your emotional scar or change the direction of your life. It’s not always your loved ones that mend your wounded heart, it could be one of the people whom we cross path with” 

I need to always remember that "People need to learn to become the person that they want instead of forcing their expectations onto others and getting angry when they turn out different. "


Goodnight. Have a nice day ahead Nur Aneesa